Styrofoam Plates

There's a saltwater film on the jar of your ashes; I threw them to the sea,
but a gust blew them backwards and the sting in my eyes
that you then inflicted was par for the course just as when you were living.
It's no stretch to say you were not quite a father
but the donor of seeds to a poor, single mother that would raise us alone.
We never saw the money that went down your throat
through the hole in your belly.

Thirteen years old in the suburbs of Denver,
standing in line for Thanksgiving dinner at the Catholic church.
The servers wore crosses to shield from the sufferance plaguing the others.
Styrofoam plates, cafeteria tables,
charity reeks of cheap wine and pity and I'm thinking of you,
I do every year when we count all our blessings
and wonder what we're doing here.

You're a disgrace to the concept of family.
The priest won't divulge that fact in his homily
and I'll stand up and scream if the mourning remain quiet,
you can deck out a lie in a suit.
But I won't buy it.
I won't join the procession that's speaking their piece,
using five dollar words while praising his integrity.
Just 'cause he's gone, it doesn't change that fact:
bastard in life, thus a bastard in death.

-Death Cab for Cutie

Finder's Keepers

Everyday,
I dig myself a grave
I can't go into that place
where I feel so displaced

Toss and turn
these sleepless nights are getting to me
my coping mechanisms thrown out the door
and I'm so desperate
Drenched in worry...
the future seems so far away
the future that I dare to taste
how easily it crumbles in my dreams

When I had these visions of you and me and everything
works in perfect harmony
Life seems okay if even for a little while
I know
I know
this feels like the only thing that I can
do right.

fingers intertwined

sleepless tonight;
but I'm right where I want to be.
Wrapped up safe in memories
of you & me.

Neon Desert

Blue

&

Green

these neon jets soar
traverse the landscape at brilliant apeed
their blazing tails trail
the scene is breath taking majesty
it's here in the dark when life becomes alive again

blue next to green
race over ground
seconds to minutes & minutes to miles
Green kicks it up a bit
blue responds well
now neon ribbons intertwine
revolving rockets light up the sky
belonging only to each other.

You're Elusive

I want it
need it
gotta have it

happiness
what I would give to feel happy again

Bubbles

You hold me captivated,
traveling softly on trundles of wind
my bright eyes are wonder
they're taking you in.
My childhood reflects in your soapy film.

straighten up

I can finally see things clearly.
I've got all of my priorities straight.
I'm no longer blind,
but certain.
The veil has been lifted.
Once again, I am driven with a vision.

Never Compensated