I was doomed at birth.

The world is getting to me again....

It's this feeling I can't shake.

The anchor in my belly

grounds me here

while I

want to cut it all off

float up to the sky

be covered with clouds

get tangled in sunrays

bathe myself in shades of blue

the stars never looked better,
you never looked better,
I'm coming home back to you.

Rut

I feel a frustration because I want to be closer to God, but I cant figure out how to do this. Also, I really need to talk to someone about gifts. The bible talks about the talents God has given everyone, and using these gifts to honor God in the best way possible. I'm having a hard time recognizing my gifts. When I think about it, all I come up with is pokemon. Gee ain't that swell(that there deer down yonder hill lol ij). Now what in the heck am I suppossed to do with that!? Come on, I need more to work with here. thats why I want to talk to someone. I need a kickstart into discovering these gifts so I can use them to their full potential. Otherwise, I'm just anxious. What in the heck is in store for me?
I'll probably have to wait a long time to put two & two together.
I really need consolation for this. D:
It bothers me a lot.

Fitted Together

I found God,
on the corner of loss and life.
He looked at me and turned away quickly.
Up off my knees, I ran after him
through the dark.
The branches stung
but not as much as my heavy heart.

It starts with...

a smile


and a 'hi'

then we get to the talking

non-stop laughter

and non-stop joking

quiet, slow
then
louderand
faster
and everything within myvisionblurstogether
we'respinngingaroundjustyouandmetrapsingthroughourfantasy
thunderandlightningsaltandpepper
cant have one
without the


other.

Slowed Wake

Na NA NA nothing ever matters
when you are la love sick like me
it's undeniable, uncurable
and slowly festering in me
I knew this would cause problems but you
can't reverse the time
I say it over (over) over again
my cliches spin on diamond ryhmes

When hormones tell a lie
and chemicals play monopoly with your brain
You're landing on my hotels
but you seem to never pay
I'm coming up on empty
and I'm shriveling away
These deeds are never done
in the hands of the crusader